Gone Without A Trace
by STarSHipper
Summary: Felicity just had enough of Arrow business. She has to walk away. Leave it all behind without any trace left for them to search for her. No picture, not even her name. Alternate Universe.
1. Prelude

**Prelude**

_'I love you'_

The moment she closed her apartment door behind her, she slide down the wall. She drew up her knees, and put her head on her hands. She closed her eyes tight and hoped against the close eyelids those words would stop hunting her.

No such luck. It seems like today is really not her day. No, scratched that, every day is really not her day. She keep her eyes closed so tight, hoping to prevent the tears from leaking down her face. Even her tears betrayed her, as they fall down slowly.

She stayed like that for few seconds, may be more but who counted anyway? She is here alone, with no one to really notice what is really happen to her.

She trusted him with her life, but again and again she forget that she couldn't let her heart trusted him. Just looked at what happened now. Those few seconds when she let her heart trusted him, he broke her heart.

Simple as that but so cruel. Not even a single warning to prepare her foolish heart from the heartbreak.

She laughed under her breathe, she is smarter than this. She knew it. She should have seen it coming. Again, blamed her foolish heart for hoping that for once he really meant what he said to her.

This has to stop. She can't do this anymore. The next time another lie came out of his mouth, she knows she would lose it.

She has to walk away. She has to leave it all behind her if she wants to keep her sanity and her heart stay intake.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore.." She spoke to an empty apartment, wiping the escape tears until nothing not even a trace left on her face.

The morning after, not even a trace of Felicity Smoak is left in the apartment. She just gone, without a trace, because she is good like that. To not leave any trails behind as she left and erased any trace that Felicity Smoak had even lives here before.

There is nothing. It is as if there is no one with the name of Felicity Smoak ever been in Starling City.

_Tbc…_


	2. Chapter 1

**Author Not: Thank you all with the kind reviews. Not Beta-ed yet so any grammar mistake is mine****.**

**I'm still trying to figure out how this site work.**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine. Never will be. Just figment of my imagination**

_**Chapter 1 **_

There's so many thing that could go wrong in his life. Oliver knows that. He lives by the knowledge that at any moment he would lose something. He did learn it the hard way. Blamed those five years in that island. But for the life of him he never had seen this coming. Had he ever thought about it? Yes. He did. Of course he did. But he never thought it will become reality.

It happened frequently in his nightmares. Some nights worse than others. But he trusted her enough to never think that she would be the one to do it. In his nightmares, it always the bad guys who took her away. Some nights are crueller than others.

It never occurred to him that she would be the one to do it. It seems like all the years they spent together didn't matter. It really felt like he never matter to her. And it hurts. No matter how much he used anger to mask that feeling, some night like tonight it came out and could do nothing to stop it. He hates it.

He remembered it clearly as if it happened today. The painful constriction against his heart never lessened. It's been years now. Three years to be exact, since the day she walked away from Starling City. From the team. From him.

~~~…..~~~

_He looked again at his phone screen. No new message. No miscalls. Not from her anyway. He frowned and gripped the phone tighter. He knows he shouldn't worry, but he keep worrying about her anyway._

_It's been few days after they got back from the island, and there's no news from her. He knows she might be busy finding new jobs to keep her everyday life afloat. There is no Queen Consolidated to go to work to, and no lair to do their nightly activities._

_He sighed. He picked up the phone again and pressed the numbers. He waited impatiently for the person on the other side to pick up._

_"__Oliver, do you know what time is it here?" Diggle grumbled over the phone. _

_Oliver smiled slightly, at ease with the familiar voice he heard. "Sorry, but I want to know, you heard from Felicity today?"_

_Silenced greeted him from the other side. It seems to drag for minutes and Oliver can't take it anymore. "Dig?" He pressed again. His voice is slightly harder._

_"__No… sorry man, but urrgh.. damn it." There's some ruffled from the other side. A curse and the sound of door creaking. _

_"__No, wait. What do you mean? You heard from her or not? God damn it, Dig. Give me something here." Oliver nearly screamed over the phone._

_Diggle sighed over the phone. "Have you tried her apartment?"_

_Immediately, fears creeping inside of him. Is something happened to her? Why is Dig being so vague? "Diggle!" _

_"__Last I heard, she told me she wanted to take a break. You know, with all that happening and with you used her as a pawn in your plan to safe Laurel, I guess she had a right to get away from you for a while." _

_Diggle's words hurt. He knows he deserved it, but to hear it being said so bluntly by someone he considered a brother hurts a lot._

_"__She is not your toy to play with Oliver, remember that. She is a human, with a heart. Not just some plotting equipment that you can toy with and throw away once you done with them."_

_"__Dig, I've no choice.." Oliver trailed off, even in his ears that excused sound so lame. _

_"__Oliver, you always have a choice. I say this before but I will say it again. It always Laurel and everyone else be damned." _

_Oliver sucked in his breathe. He thought Diggle already made amend with his decisions regarding the final battle with Slade. Apparently, he is wrong. It seems like Diggle will not let him forget how stupid his plan was._

_It's a good thing that they came out okay out of it. He knew there's so many way his plan can backfire. He never allows himself to really think about it. For him, it is successful and they did beat Slade at his own game._

_"__Dig.. please?" Please stopped that. He silently begged._

_"__You woke me up so early in the morning, and not sorry there. You should have seen it coming. Next time, a warning would be fine. We are a team. What will it take for you to keep it in your head?" He can hear Diggle's sighed from the other side._

_"__Oliver, give her time. She has no time to spend for herself. It always is either to help Queen Consolidated in the morning and with Arrow business during the night. She needs a break. At least, granted her that one thing. She never asked anything from you."_

_Diggle's soft words break through him like an ice breaking apart. He never thought about it that way. He always thought she would be there at every turn he made. _

_Oliver sighed. "Yeah, I should. Sorry I disturbed your morning with this call. I'll see you around?" He asked with uncertainty. _

_"__You got it man, I'll see you once I settled my things here." Oliver breathed a sigh of relieve. At least, he can keep one man by his side. The other person who always stay by his other side is still missing._

_He couldn't wait for them to be finally completed. The three of them. Partners. A team._

~~~…~~~~

He laughed bitterly at the memories. It took him months when there's still no news from her to actually realize that something is wrong. For all the years he knew her, she never went a week without any news. She always sent a simple message, just to let him know she is safe and sound.

He never asked her to do that, but it's like some integral part of her always known to not let anyone worry about her. She always gives him something. He realized now belatedly that she never asked anything from him. Not even once.

The day that he realized he lost her started as normal as everyday could be. That day forever etched in his mind that he will never see her again. It's like she never even exist in the first place. It seems like the past two years is just some part of his imagination.

Thanks to the team which is now include Laurel who reminded him that the years did happen and the pain in his heart is too real to be his imagination anyway.

He frowned as he remembered how self-destructive he was once he knew she was gone. She walked away from them never to return. Not even a trace left. It is as if there is no one with the name Felicity Smoak. Just think about her names hurt now. His hands clenched so tight it's a wonder he didn't break the skin.

Sometimes, at night like this he hates her. He hates how she can swipe and erase everything by the click of her hands. She left him absolutely nothing to track her back. Not even a name in the registration record in Starling City. It like she never exists. That is what hurts the most. He remembered everything about her but there is no physical things left that remind him of her. Not even her picture. It's nothing, absolutely nothing of her is left in Starling City.

~~~~~~…..~~~~~

_Oliver comes down the stair of their new lair. His footsteps echoed through the silent that is the place now. Diggle followed a step behind him, silently preparing for a fight that he is sure to happen any moment now. It took him by surprise that Oliver last this long before he snapped._

_"__This is ridiculous. How could she do this to us?" His angry voices sound so loud in the nearly empty place._

_Roy who is training with Sara stumbled at the sound and Sara took the moment to swipe his leg under him. "Hah, I won. Again."_

_"__What with him?" Roy whispered to Sara. His brow furrowed as his head turned to look at Oliver. He started to sit up and beginning to raise himself when Sara mouthed at him._

_"__F.e.l.i.c.i.t.y.."_

_Roy gulped down. "Oh.. I was wondering how long we're going to pretend that she just take a very long vacation days." His words spoken in whispered but for Sara it's loud enough for the other parties in the lair to hear them._

_Sara slapped his shoulder hard. Sometimes kid just going to be a kid no matter how strong they are. "Hey, you don't want him to hear you said that. He is pissed off."_

_"__Do I look like I care to you, now?"_

_Their banter cut off short when they heard a loud bang from the other side of the lair. Both of them cringed and both started to walk to the other occupants in the lair. What they saw is enough to make them speechless. Just few minutes ago they're both talking like normal then suddenly it just all go to hell._

_Oliver and Diggle were hitting each other's. Not their usual training routines but this one was more like their venting their frustration against the other. Diggle looked so angry and if looked could kill Oliver was dead now. Sara took Roy hand in hers, gripping it slightly to make him look at her. _

_He looked up and saw what she needed him to do. She motioned to Dig and he nodded. They have to stop this. _

_Both of them started to the struggling duo who are so determined to leave a mark over the other body. At the moment it seems like Diggle is having the upper hand or maybe Oliver didn't put as much strength as usual._

_"__Hey..!" Roy screamed, he gripped Dig body away from Oliver._

_He winced when he looked at Oliver's bleeding nose and the cut over his forehead. His hold on Diggle tightened, and he dragged him as far away from Oliver as he could. The guy is big and even with his strength it's a difficult task to do._

_Sara put herself in between Oliver and Diggle. She looked down at Oliver, and slowly said. "Ollie, stopped it." Her voice is soft and filled with understanding. Oliver looked away from her and wiped the blood that trailed down his lips._

_Roy who was struggling with Diggle lost his grip of him and Diggled started forward ready to finish their fight. He shouted to let Sara noticed that his prisoner has escaped. _

_"__Sara!"_

_She looked back exactly at the same moment that Oliver looked up and noticed Dig's advanced on him. He struggled to his knees, pushed Sara to the side and throw a punch at Diggle. It hit straight at the mark._

_Roy winced and Sara shot daggers at him. He mouthed. "Sorry."_

_No one noticed at the new occupants who silently walked down the stairs. A sight that greeted her is enough to make her gasped._

_"__OLIVER! DIGGLE! Oh god, what happened?"_

_A silence fall around them. Diggle looked pissed. Roy looked freaked out. Sara as hard as she tried to control her face, she looked worried. _

_Laurel who didn't understand what was happening down here, looked at Oliver with cautious eyes. Then she turned to Diggle. Diggle just looked away from her. _

_She gulped down hard, it just in passing but she noticed the hate look he threw at her before he looked away. Oliver? He just looked like the ground might swallow him whole at any moment now. Finally, she understood what is happening._

_It's so glaringly obvious now that when she thought about it. She is a new member in here but she knew something is not right with the original team members. Something is missing or rather someone is missing. _

_Felicity._

_That one blonde girl who she first thought as Oliver's secretary was now seems mean so much more to them. She was their partners. Part of the team. Now, she was nowhere in sight. She just realized it now, she always there with them during their last fight with Slade and with everything that happened it never occurred to her that the team is not yet complete. _

_She looked around for help. This is totally new to her to ask for anyone help in the matter. She looked at Sara who just shook her head silently. Finally her eyes landed on the man who standing at the far side of the lair. She looked with curious eyes what he would do at the current situation that occurred here._

_Diggle noticed that someone is watching him, looked up and his eyes met with her. His hands clenched at the sight that meet him. The reason this is happening is standing right here in the lair. She even becomes a new member of the team. He snorted and looked away. _

_He was still too angry and he was afraid whatever he said to Laurel now would ruin everything they worked so hard for. He might not agree with Oliver's way to include her in the team but for long term that decision is a good one. She is also good at self-defences. Something the previous member of the team lacked off._

_He huffed in anger and turned to walk away. He didn't think staying here is good right now. He needed to do something. He needed to find her. Stayed here and fight with Oliver would not get her back to them. To him. He missed her already. Someone he considered a little sister he never had._

_"__Dig?" Oliver's pained voice stopped him short in his track. He refused to look at him. He was just standing there with his back to them all. He could feel that Sara, Roy and Laurel all looked between him and Oliver now. Though right at this moment he could care less about what they thought about them._

_"__She is gone.." Oliver words are not so much a question it's more like a statement. He still didn't say anything but he did turn around and looked at Oliver._

_A sight that greeted him make him clenched his fist so tight at his side. He wanted to lash out at Oliver. He wanted to blame him. Heck, if Sara and Roy didn't stop them he might even kill Oliver. _

_Though right at this moment all he can see is how broken Oliver is. He truly didn't know whether to laugh or scream at him. How could anyone be so alert but so oblivious at the same time? It took him freaking month to really notice that she was gone. What a partner was that?_

_"__I tried her home and the owner said the occupant already left for a month. She is not coming back."_

_"__What?" Roy shocked voice echoed so loud at the silence that suddenly falls in the lair._

_Sara shook her head in denial. She can't believe it. "I got to go." She almost runs out of the lair in a hurry. _

_Diggle just shook his head. "I tried everything that I knew off. I even asked the ARGUS of her information. Nothing came out. Not even a name."_

_That is what strikes them the hardest. No one really knows what to do. Where to go to find her. Every resource they tried failed. Sara even asked the help from Nyssa but nothing. It is impossible to track a hacker when the hacker herself didn't want to be found._

_Oliver collapsed on his back at this information. All energy seems to leave him. He just looked up at the roof without really seeing anything. He bitted his lips tightly and he didn't even care that he further aggravated the injury. His eyes are teary. He blinked slowly as everything comes crushing to him. The reality of something he desperately tried to ignore since few weeks ago. She was gone. _

_He didn't even notice when Roy and Laurel left the lair. He just lay there without making any movement. He could still feel Dig's eyes on him. It's seem even in his angry states Diggle still standing guard over him._

_He truly didn't know what he could do now. The one person who always be there is suddenly gone. She left the team.__She left him. The knowledge is suddenly too much and he dried heave what is left of his stomach._

_He curled on his side just like he always did during the island. The Island. Shado. Slade. Felicity. Oh god, she really is not coming back. This time it really is his fault. He is the reason she walked away from everything that she once called home. He broke her promise to her, again._

_"__I'm sorry.." The words left his mouth even before he realized he spoke them._

~~~~~~~...~~~~~~

"Ollie..?"

He looked up from his perch on the roof to look at where the voice came from. There stood the Black Canary a.k.a Sara Lance with worried look on her face.

He smiled at her tightly and greet her with a "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I'm the one who should ask you the same thing. Aren't you supposed to be training with Laurel tonight?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. She just looked at him silently.

He just shrugged as if it's nothing. As if his brooding here at the rooftop is nothing. "I just need to take a breath." He threw back at her.

If it is possible, Sara's eyebrow went up higher, he sighed. Slowly raised to his feet and run his hand over his hair.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sara looked at him worriedly. She knew and he knew what is bothering him but as usual neither of them ever spoke about it loudly.

It is some kind of a silent rule between them now. After his breakdown at the lair years ago, no one spoke about her. Not even her name's escaped from their lips when they're within each other company. That rules also applied to the others Team Arrow.

"You know, it's okay to talk about her. We are the only people she hanged around before. It's not like she is dead. She is still out there, somewhere." Sara continued softly.

Oliver didn't reply. He just shrugged his shoulder. "You want to take over?" He pointed to the general location of the lair.

He was supposed to train Laurel tonight. It is their nightly ritual now when the crimes activity in Starling City slow down.

If Sara realized he changed the topic, she didn't acknowledge it. She just nodded and said over her shoulder as she replied playfully. "I race you." This, she can do. It is easier and less hurtful than the actual issue which keep hovering over their heads.

For years they never really stopped searching for her. They do it their own way. No one really wanted the others to know, afraid that each failed tries will disappointed them. Slowly breaking them apart. Everyone was so cautious as not to break each other apart. It like their own silent bow to continue searching for her, even though they knew deep down if she really wanted to be found she will let them tracked her.

They slowly built their live in Starling City again and become like a pseudo-family now. Fighting crimes and when it comes to training Oliver become so hard on everyone. If anyone noticed no one mentioned it. They thought it might be his way to correct his past wrong doing to the previous member of the team. The one who used to face the enemy without any knowledge of self-defenced. The one who walked away.

tbc...

**P/s: Still curious now? Shout it out will you?**


	3. Chapter 2

**NOTES: Please bear in mind that this story is AU. I just used the finale season moment as a trigger to create my own story. I thank you for your kind reviews, even in other languages. I don't know whether it's good/bad words but still thank you for the effort to review..^^**

**P/s: Still struggling with grammar, so mistake all mine.. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be. Just a figment of my imagination.**

**Chapter 2**

Diggle looked up from where he is training with Oliver to the stairs when he heard the steps walked down the stairs. He sighed once he realized what he did and turned to Oliver again.

Oliver looked away quickly as if he didn't notice Diggle's slip. He didn't want the other man to notice the way his eyes looked at the same way too. He tried to slow down his heartbeat. Even after years, the slightest noises of the door being opened make him so alert. At the same time make him hope that maybe she might turn up. Though, the voice that comes next crushed his hope again.

"Ollie,? Dig?" Laurel's voice came through then come her shadow. She looked at them both, both eyebrows raised slightly at him and Diggle.

"What's up?" Diggle asked her. Over the years, he seems to treat her with polite interest. Not too close to be considering a friend but not too cold to be considering an enemy.

"Do you read the news?" Laurel asked them both.

When both men just stayed silent and she noticed the clueless looks they passed each other's, she sighed.

"For a hero and ex-army I'm amazed at your clueless."

She continue talking and Oliver ignored the slight twinge in his chest at the mention of 'hero'. He focused on what she told them.

"Apparently, a new force tried to make their way to Starling City. Someone tried to recruit Starling City people to do their dirty jobs under the guise of producing machines for factories."

"What?"

Laurel nodded in confirmation at Dig's shocked question. She took out her tablet and showed them the news.

"It's New York's news. What's it got to do with us?" Oliver asked his eyes never leave the tablet. Another painful reminder he has to face every day.

"Originally, it from NY city. Our resources informed us that there is a new building where the Glades used to be. The factory in the final stated to be launched."

Oliver looked at Diggle, seeing the grim expression on his face. "This is not good. We can't allow them to build army weapons here in Starling City. Who approved of this project?" He heard Diggle asked Laurel.

"The Mayor. No, I'm confident that he is innocent in this. I bet he don't even know the factory will be used to create army weapons." Laurel added when she noticed the tight looks that crossed both her teammates.

Oliver took his eyes away from the tablet's screen. "Where do you get this information?" He asked one question he wanted to know the answer to.

It happened quite frequently now. Laurel, Sara or even Roy would come to him or Diggle with some kind of information about the things that goes underground in Starling City. The kind of information that would make their night activities filled with the heroes work.

He knows whoever the informant is she or he would turn up sooner or later. Though, he couldn't help the feeling that crept up at him. Is it another bigger force who played with them? Again? To let them strayed away from the main course.

"This is genuine, Ollie. Trust me on this one." Laurel looked at him with earnest eyes. Then her eyes becoming soft as she keep looking at him. She held his hand and squeezed.

"Oliver, we have to check this one." Diggle voices made him turned to look at him. He saw the way his eyes looked from him and Laurel. But he just acted as if nothing is unusual happened just now.

"Yeah. We'll go through it again later. Sara's back yet?" Oliver asked her and his face didn't show anything whether he affected by what just happened before or not.

"She should be back today. I'll check on her." She told him and started to make her way out, but then she turned back.

"Our dinner tonight, still on?" She asked him.

Oliver froze in his step to get his shirt. He looked back at her and raised an eyebrow. "We have a dinner tonight?"

Oliver ignored the slight disapproval noise Diggle let out, he just focused on Laurel and waited for her to answer him.

"Yes, you promised me last week, after we succeed in breaking the Drug Dealer Case. You remember?" She asked with a smile on her face.

He didn't really but he hated to let her down. So he nodded and let her know he will take her there. He would ask for details later.

He looked at his watch, and grabbed his shirt and bag. He needed to move now if he wanted to be there today. It is some kind of his routine nowadays. Go to that place every day without missing a single day. Of course if he was injured bad enough he would take another extra hours to be there to make up the one he didn't made.

He walked slowly to that place. It's so peaceful. The wind blow softly and the flowers around this place always wait for his arrival here. He reached his destination, placed yellow flower on the sands. He always brings every type of flowers, nothing specific as he always thought that he couldn't describe her by one thing. Or the other.

He told her about his day or days. It depends. Today though, he just stayed in silence. No word came out of his mouth yet. He just closed his eyes and remember. It's been three years and it's getting harder and harder to remember her face.

It scared him if someday, he come here and he could no longer remember her face. Her smiles. Her everything. So he told her what his feels today.

"Hey, I'm late didn't I?" He chuckled to himself.

"I'm scared. You know, one of these days I would no longer remember you. It hard you know, you just left. Basically leave me nothing to remember you by. Not even a picture. How pathetic is that? You were with me every day for almost three years and I didn't even have a single thing that is yours. Even your stuffs in the lair were ruined."

He looked away. Even just talked about it alone is hard. He swallowed hard. Eyes become watery. He refused to let the tears fall. No.

"Three years. You were gone almost as long as the time we were together. Felicity, where are you? Are you alive? It's cruel you know. I couldn't even search for you. Dig tried, Sara also tried. Even Roy did it behind my back. They couldn't even find a trace of you. It's like you're not even real. But I know you're real. Wherever you're now, whoever you're today. Please be safe and happy."

He looked up the sky and smiled a watery smile. It will be okay. Though he couldn't be so sure of himself. He trailed one last glance at the stand, so simple but so meaningful to him. A remembrance of someone so dearest. He created a remembrance for her. In his own way, it is to let himself remember that she is real. Once upon a time, from part of his life she did happen.

_tbc..._

**P/s: My portrayal of the characters might be OOC, but in my mind eyes Oliver really didn't understand his own feeling for Felicity. So, I was hoping that after the years she is gone, he slowly started to understand a glimpse of his own feeling. He is a scarred man, be easy on him. I hope the time frame not too jumpy. Do shout it out, if it weird or something.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Author Note: Thank you all with the kind reviews. This work is AU a.k.a Alternate Universe. I just used the infamous Olicity scene to create a story that has it's own life. **

**Disclaimer: Not Mine. Never will be. Just figment of my imagination**

**Chapter 3:**

The click of heels, fast moving and papers rustling around make the people around turns to look up at the sound.

She looked up from her papers, scrunched up her nose slightly. "What?"

She smiled at them and continued walking toward the far end of the corridor. Once reached there, she pushed the door open and said "Mom!"

The person inside looked up from her tablet. Ginger hair, with a blouse and a skirt to match to perfection. "Hey, you're early." She smiled adorably at the new entree.

"He told me 12 at noon. I come as fast as I can and I thought for sure that I'm gonna be late. I even had to take my works with me so that I can work on it while coming here and now I'm here, you told me I'm early?" She spied the calmly looking woman at the table. Suddenly it clicked. Again. She couldn't believe it.

"Emily.. he tricked you again isn't he?" Pepper asked her daughter tried hard not to find it amusing but failed. She laughed. Then shook her head.

"It's not fair. It's been what? Three times? I'm sure that I caught him the last time he tried this and make him promise that he won't do it again." Emily sighed and sit at the chair in front of her mother table.

She rearranged her files and put it aside. No work when you're sitting in front f your mother. She learned it the hard way two years ago. She still cringed when she thought about that.

"Just let him do it. He just got you back. Let him smothered you more, okay?" Pepper told her softly with a smile on her face.

"It's been three years, mom. I think it's long enough for him to stop treating me like I'm going to be gone any moment. I'm a big girl now. I even surpassed him in his latest invention." Emily reminded her mother, again. Quite smugly if she thought about it. Then she smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"You're your father's daughter. You know that? Come on, we should be going." Pepper raised from her seat at the chair, picked up her tablet and started moving towards the door.

Emily raised slowly to her feet, her eyes looking out the window. The view on NY city is nice from 40 floors up the ground.

"Emily, you coming?" Her mother asked, she noticed the far away look her daughter always got whenever she looked out the window. She wanted to ask her about it but she knew she would tell her at her own time.

She turned to look at her mother, nodded and followed her out of the door of the office. She didn't come up here often, and she tried to avoid it as best as she could but day like today, there's no way around it. She has to come up here to meet her mother for their lunch date.

"Yeah" She said as she threw one last glance at the view over the glass window.

She followed her mother to their waiting car. She took a deep breath trying to regulate her breathing. It wouldn't do any good if she went into one of her episode again. Actually, it took her a year to not freak out when the door of any car opened from the passenger seat. The first time it happened she squeaked so loud that her father have a hard time to control his heartbeat. It's not her fault though, during that time she only been home for few days. So, she still expected to see him when the bodyguard opened any passenger's door.

She muttered under her breath. Reminding herself that this is NY city not that place. Never will be that place again. She left it all behind her. So, the least she could do is not freaked out at every turn and corner expecting the black bodyguard or his spoiled-rich-boss to appear.

"Hey, sweety. Come on, now. You wouldn't want your dad to be all grumpy again right?" She touched her arm softly to guide her inside of the car. "Hey.. you're more spacey today than usual. Is it your new project?"

Emily looked at her mother and smiled painfully. A little teary when she thought about that project of hers. She nodded. "It kind of reminded me of my past. Days like this it's harder than usual."

"You can always go back. See them for yourself. I'm sure they're not angry at you anymore." Pepper informed her. She still remember that night when she received that phone call from Emily three years ago. It still caused her pain to listen to her only child's voice so broken over the phone.

~~~~~….~~~

_"__Mom….?" _

_"__Emily is that you?" Pepper asked over the phone. She couldn't hear her daughter voice very clearly. "Are you okay?"_

_"__Mom.. I'm coming home." She heard her said. She smiled widely. She tried for years to ask her to come home but she always declined saying that it's not time yet. Suddenly, she called and informed her that she is coming home._

_Though she frowned when she heard the distinct sound of a sob. Is she crying? _

_"__Emily? Hey, where are you?" She asked urgently. Something is wrong with her daughter. She picked her tablet and wrote something to her husband. Letting him know that there's urgent matter they have to attend._

_She used it in codes, because she always so protective of their family. People in NY city knew that they have a daughter together, though no one knows for sure how she looks like. During her early birth her hair is like her. Then it turned a shade darker when she is around 5 years old. After that, whenever they went out she always hide her hair, and eyes. Then they stayed apart from each other. So, no one really know what she looks like as a grown up. _

_"__It hurts, mom." She cried over the phone. She never was a cry-baby. The sound so heartbreaking it twisted her stomach painfully. Her daughter was in pain._

_"__Are you injured? Dad's coming. Just, wait there okay?" Pepper pleaded at her daughter. At the same time she clicked furiously on her tablet. She wiped her eyes as Tony face appeared on the screen. He looked at her worriedly. _

_She typed again and at the same time tried to soothe her daughter. She hated it, when this thing happened and she was so far away to actually give her comfort that she needed._

_Tony nodded once and looked at her from the screen. He mouthed to her. "It's going to be okay. I'll go get her." _

_She smiled with tears in her eyes. "Emily, hey. Your father is on the way. Hold on tight, okay. You'll be fine." She could hear the hiccups slowed down. She sighed in relieved. _

_The next time she met her daughter, Emily came running to her and hugged her so tight. It seems like she would never let her go again. Pepper ran her hand up and down on her back and looked at her husband over Emily's shoulder._

_His face is grim with a traced of anger on it. Tony just shook his head. They would have to talk later. Whatever he found there, must be bad from the look on his face._

_"__Emily?" _

_Emily finally released her tight hold of her mother. Her eyes red, hair so ruffled that Pepper went paled when she noticed the trace of bruises on her face. She touched it softly. She wanted to ask so many questions but now was not the time._

_"__I missed you" She said instead and kissed her forehead. _

_Emily suddenly breakdown again and started crying in earnest. Pepper just took her in her arms and let her down on the couch. She let Emily cried on her shoulder, and continued to rub softly on her back._

_They stayed like that for awhile. Emily continued to cry and she rubbed small circles on her arm and back. She placed kisses on her daughter forehead, until the cry subsided. Pepper looked down and noticed that Emily had fall asleep. She kissed her one last time and looked up to see her husband watching them with affection._

_"__She must have a very hard time, for her to ask to come home. Isn't it?" Pepper asked Tony. _

_Tony nodded, his face turned to anger when he noticed the bruises on his daughter. He muttered something under his breath. "I'll kill him, that brat."_

_"__What?" Pepper asked. "No, no. You won't be killing anyone tonight." Pepper scold him fiercely. _

_"__He hurt my daughter and break her heart. I've got the right to kill him right this moment." _

_Pepper looked up at him, seeing how he struggled to control his feeling. Tony Stark is a passionate man. He feels deeply. "Tony?" She asked softly._

_"__What..?" He asked distractedly. "Breath." She instructed. He followed automatically and shot her a look._

_"__We have more important things at our hand right now. Other things can wait." She motioned to Emily who was still sleeping on her mother's lap._

~~~~~…~~~~~~

"Mom?"

Emily waved her hand at her mother frantically. Pepper snapped out of her memories and smiled at her only child.

"Yeah, what? Sorry, what did we talk about before? Oh, yes. I still saying that you can always visit them." She nudged her daughter. She knew Emily missed that part of her life.

"No, it's wouldn't be happening soon. I'm still not ready yet. They're moving on and our world so different from them. I'm different. So there's nothing for me there. Not anymore. My life is here now, with you and dad." She smiled softly.

"I'm just saying, Emily. It wouldn't hurt to just go there as you're today. Emily Stark. I'm not talking about your old self." Pepper told her and she noticed the way Emily eyes dimmed slightly at the mentioned of her old self. That part of her was dead three years ago, the moment she made that phone call.

Emily looked at her mother deeply and just shrugged. "It didn't require me to go there. So, there really is no point in going. I'm busy enough as it is with my current project and my side project."

"Oh, regarding that project of yours, any more progress? Your dad will be so pissed off when he heard about it. You wanted to do the honor to tell him?" Pepper asked jokingly.

Emily looked at her mother in horror. She shook her head and mouthed a 'Nope' to her mother. She wouldn't take that risk and faced her father wrath? No, thank you. She still love herself.

At the same time both of their tablets ding, they looked at each other a laugh escaped them both when Tony Stark's face appeared on the screen. Speak of the devil.

_tbc..._

**Note 2: So still curious? Now that you finished this chapter, I hope you get a glimpse where I'm going with this story. I also included Tony/Pepper in this because... I love them. Hah. I have this story all planned out nicely in my mind's eyes. All I need is to form it into words but I'm also welcoming any idea that you have. **

**P/s: Some of the review, kinda make me guessing myself whether or not I should continue to post this story. English is not my native language and obviously there's grammar mistake all around. So, yeah.. pardon the mistake or just stop reading altogether. Or maybe you can be my beta-reader, no need to shout with the anonymous review...^^**


	5. Chapter 4

**Author Note: Thank you all with the kind words. I was shocked to see so many people review the last chapter. Quite scary to see such high expectation for this story. I tried my best and to be honest I kinda freaked out how to deliver this chapter to you all. Mistake still mine... **

**Disclaimer: Not Mine. Never will be. Just figment of my imagination**

**Chapter 4:**

"Felicity, NO!" He screamed as he bolted up from the bed. Sweats covered his face and with wide eyes looked around searching for something, trying to find someone.

As usual no one is there, just him alone in his bed. Oliver wiped his hands over his face and groaned. The nightmares happened more frequently now. So sudden, and out of nowhere.

He thought it wouldn't happen again. For the past two years, he made amend with his ghost from the past and finally could sleep at night. It's not easy but even when he dreamed about her, it always about the 'what if' scenario, about what if they meet again. It is never a nightmare and it never this intense before.

His hands still trembled from the effect of the dream. Is his conscious tried to tell him something? He wiped the tears from his eyes. No matter how scared he is, he wouldn't let that dream rules him. No, he wouldn't let that dream ruined his effort for years. To be a better man. He wouldn't go back to the way he was before. Before her.

He took a deep breath, and climbed out of the bed. He looked out the glass window from his room. After getting the company back, he left the mansion to Thea. He bought a new apartment for himself. It's more like a suit room. With view over Starling City below him.

It is something to remind him what his purpose is, what it took away from him to be here at this moment. A better man. A hero to the Starling City.

Once his heartbeat returned to normal, he dialed Dig's number. He knows it's late but he needed to talk to someone. Someone who understands without him actually have to mention her name.

"Dig..?"

"God damn it, Oliver. Again?" Diggle groaned over the phone.

"Yeah. It's getting worst. I don't know what to do. I think I'm going crazy. It just too much and at the same time, it's nothing I could do about it." He sighed over the phone.

He and Diggle started talking about Felicity few months back. It took them three years, but finally they're able to talk to each other about her. It happened after his last visit to her place once he realized that he soon will forget about her someday without nothing to hold on to.

So, he confessed to Diggle. After receiving few beating from each others, they sat down on the mat, with beers on each hand. The talked about her. Everything and nothing in between.

Diggle replied after a long silence moment. "Meet me at the lair in 20 mins." Then he hanged up.

Oliver tossed his phone on the bed, still slightly shaking from the nightmares. He got ready to go to the lair.

~~~….~~~

"Hey, Sara. Wait up." Roy called to her running up slightly to catch up with her.

Sara looked up from where she was kneeling beside the baddies of the night. "What?"

"Don't go yet. We're supposed to meet at the lair after this, remember?"

At Roy expectant looks, Sara cursed inwardly. She totally forgot that Laurel also asked her to be there tonight before she disappearing to her whereabouts.

"Damn it, it's tonight?"

Roy nodded in confirmation. "Yes, we're supposed to meet with the others too."

"Oliver? You hear me?" Sara asked via her comm link. Nothing. Silence answered her. She turned to look at Roy and raised one eyebrow at him.

"Dig?" Roy tried to reach the other member of their teams.

"Yes, I heard you both. I'm on my way there and oh, Oliver is running a bit late. He need to stop at some place first.

"For someone who keep talking about teamwork, he sure is like to be a lone ranger." Roy muttered under his breathe.

Sara and Roy started heading towards the lair. Once they're inside, the sight that greet them both still make them freeze on their feet. There at the computer equipment tables, Laurel sat there with her back turned to them.

Roy threw a glance at Sara, noticing the slight tightened of her mouth at the sight. "Time like this, I miss her. It so silent inside here." Roy said silently.

Sara just nodded her head, slapped her hand at Roy's shoulder to make him finished move down the stairs. "Yeah, me too."

Then the door creaked open, signalling the arriving of another of their team members. Diggle walked down the stairs but stopped once he realized his path downstairs is blocked by the two other occupants.

"What's going on?" He asked trying to look down ahead but seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

"It's too silent in here." Sara repeated what Roy said to her.

Diggle just nodded and instructed both Sara and Roy to finish walked down the stairs. They really needed to move if they wanted to avoid Oliver found them like this.

~~~~~~…~~~~~~

They're standing around the lair by their own favorite spots, with Dig near the table where he cleaned up his tools, Roy stayed beside him. Sara looked over Laurel shoulder who sat by the computer table. Oliver just standing in the middle of it keeps throwing look and glances at each of the occupant presents there.

Laurel looked up at him and showed him the files on the screen. "We have to stop this." Oliver stayed root where he is.

Ever since Laurel approached him with that information weeks period, something keep nagging at him to take extra precaution regarding this case. Something just didn't add up, and he didn't know what it is.

He looked at Diggle to ask his opinion. "Dig?"

"Oliver, we discussed about this before, aren't we agree to look into it and isn't this is the reason we're having this meeting in the first place? Why you're so reluctant to take it? Something you're not telling us?"

Oliver struggle to make them see his point but thing is he didn't have any, only gut feeling. Either way he did try to persuade them. "But we don't even know if the information we received is concrete?"

"What if something bigger at stake here? You just going to ignore this?" Sara chimed in. She looked at Oliver weirdly.

Laurel stood up from her seating, giving them all the print-out version of her files. "I know my resource. It's real and not some decoy plot to blindside us."

"I think it won't hurt if we check it. I can look around the place if you wanted." Roy offered, while keep looking in between Oliver and Laurel with a frown on his face. He cleared his own thought and continued. "Anyway its' too quiet around here. It's not normal."

Sudden silence plunged around the lair. No one move or talk at all.

"Ah, shit. I mean.. it's quiet in Starling City in general not here as in the lair. Damn, I really should stop talking. Is this kind of thing infectious?" Roy started blabbering trying to cover for his slip-up but failed miserably.

Laurel looked at him curiously. She still not getting why the sudden change in attitude in Roy came from. "Roy, what do you mean too quiet?"

"You're too serious in your work and you didn't even greet us when we got back just now." Roy finished lamely.

"What? I don't understand." She looked around at each of them. Sara tried to stifled her laugh, Dig rolled his eyes and Oliver just continued to stare at Roy.

"Before, when Felicity was here. She always makes sure to greet us after we finished the cases. I think it just different. We never really got used to it." Sara chimed in trying to help Roy out of his misery.

"Felicity..?" Laurel asked in askance. She automatically turned to look at Oliver. Everyone else holding their breath as if something might happen if they even breathe a sigh out.

Oliver sighed and rubbed a hand over his neck. He tried to sooth the sudden tension that appeared. "You guys, can stop acting like I'm going to snap every time you mentioned Felicity you know. It had been three years. Things like that happened. We move on." He pressed on the last part of his sentences. He threw a glance at Laurel but looked away once she noticed it.

"Right, I was supposed to tell you that I'm going with Nyssa next week. This new case, I might not be able to help much. Either way ring me up if you need me. I'll see what I can do." Sara ever the helpful member changed the topic and officially ended the awkward stare off between Oliver and Laurel.

"How long this time?" Diggled asked as if he remembered correctly last month she was gone for almost two weeks. She almost had them worried about her missing.

"Nah, won't take up that much time. You won't even notice I'm gone." She replied with ease. Sara looked at Diggle and smiled at him. He nodded in understanding.

Oliver cleared his throat, and seems to reach a decision with his internal battle, he said. "Roy, started going around in the new factory. See if you can get any more info about what goes underground there."

Roy nodded eagerly. He is ready to do any action rather than training practices with Oliver or Diggle. Sara he can accept, but training with Oliver and Diggle just not his most favorite things to do right now, especially after tonight. He cringed just to think what his next session will get him to.

Laurel started to gather her things and suddenly stopped. "Oliver, there's a gala this coming Friday. That would be the perfect time to mingle around and see what those elites up to."

Oliver froze again, as if something had triggered that kind of reaction from him tonight. He refused to think about his dream and his discussion with Diggle the days prior.

He nodded at Laurel and raised a single eyebrow at Diggle. "You're up to it?" There's a ghost of smiles that beginning to form on his mouth at this.

Diggle's eyes softened at him. Though he sighed loudly when he replied back. "So, I'm going to be downgrade to be your black driver again.."

"Bodyguard Dig. You're my bodyguard." Oliver teased easily.

"Same different." Diggle muttered under his breathe. He started to gather his things to be put on the usual place.

Roy raised his hand slightly before speaking. "I might get a kick in the ass after I say this but is there something going on with you two? You're acting kinda weird to each other."

"What?" "No.. we're just.." Oliver and Laurel said at the same time. Sara looked at them both amused, and Roy raised one eyebrow at them.

Diggle took that chance to go changing his shirts, and said goodnight to all of them. It was best for all interest party if he was not there when Oliver or Laurel or both of them answered Roy's question. He took that upon himself to not care about Oliver love life or Oliver/Laurel issue anymore. He said his piece years ago and that's it.

_tbc..._

**P/S: You survived this chapter! Thank you... ^.^**


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